My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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