Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
