We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
