Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
