arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am one with the molecules
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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