I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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