Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
