i permit you to call me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
