I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
