Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
