Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
