you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
