Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
