I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
