Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
