You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
