I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
