didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
