Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
