The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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