Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
