i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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