Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
