She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
