All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
50% drunk capacity currently
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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