well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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