there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
