My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
