Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
