Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
