they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This is my gift to your gina
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i think i just lost a toe
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