you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
