Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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