if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
