Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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