I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
