so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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