Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
