And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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