I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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