S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
