god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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