pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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