did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize