thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i drank out of a bidet.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize