Sry I called you an 8
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
