I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
