Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
