she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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