I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
