well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she told me i tasted like america
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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