I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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