i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
