Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
