i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
