Betty ford says i'm here all night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
