Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How's work?
Spinning.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Pooping to opera.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
