No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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