haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize